Christians Experiencing Narcissism

Recognizing narcissism in definition and experience. Positioning yourself as a Christian in a narcissistic relationship. Healing the wounds of narcissism through a deepening love relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Utilizing the "Nourishing Traditions" Cookbook for a peaceful behavior change in relationships.

The following is a summary of the six part educational lecture series designed to help in this kind of relationship. Each lecture is sequential and builds upon the previous one. NPD Lectures are available in the following formats: Written, Audio CD, Audio USB (as a 6-part set), Download (as a 6-part set)

6-Part NPD Educational Sequential Series:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
What Are The Symptoms
And How Can I Deal With The Pain / Persecution
From A Christian Perspective

Copyright © 2003 by Dr. Mardee Alff, Psy.D.

NPD. 1 "Experiencing Encouragement In The Dark Times Of Life: Five Common Human Problems and Four Crucial Christian Truths That Guard Our Hearts In The Problems." emphasized how a person's anger, anxiety, negative self-talk, pessimistic attitudes, and depression {or striking back} were all connected. These five problems begin with lies believed, and took the person into the dark times of life. Four crucial Christian truths were offered to counteract the lies and to provide ways to work to receive healing through the dark times. These truths are the following:

  1. Knowing God's love
  2. Recognizing we are only human. We have a spirit that lives in a body and has a soul, and all are affected by being human.
  3. Agreeing with God's plan for us as men and women here on earth. Women need to learn to grow into being His Cha-yil woman of power and authority [Proverbs 31:10], and the despot [the one who keeps and guides the house] of I Tim. 5:14. Men need to grow into loving [John 15:7-17] and especially their wives as Christ loves the Church [Eph.5:25]. To love requires equality [James 2:1-10] and mutual submission [Eph. 5:21], or it isn't love.
  4. Fulfilling our job to remove the blocks that prevent our receiving the miracles God has already prepared for us. The dark times of life are not God's fault. He is not punishing us. By standing on these Truths, we work with the Lord to uncover several of the real reasons we are preventing Him from blessing us as He promised in His Word. It is the Truth that heals. Knowing that we can participate with God in the dark times of life by believing His Truth is encouragement. The Lord's Way is not passive, but mighty to pulling down strongholds. That is the heritage of the Christian.
  5. For more information on Biblical Equality, visit


NPD. 2 "Diagnosis of Narcissism; Experiencing the Symptoms of NPD", stressed how the NPD abuser's negative cloud of shame, rage, inadequacy, jealousy, and guilt, --dumped on their prey-- made this victim feel like these were their own emotions. The lecture emphasized that a person must recognize their own negative attitudes, and the simultaneous negative cloud of the NPD, and deal separately with both. The diagnosis of narcissism was presented, and the way it was experienced in relationships.

NPD. 3 "Peace Within; Limiting the Experience of abuse; Parenting exercise", highlighted how to work with the effects of the negative NPD abuser's cloud to bring peace within the abused person. It demonstrated a self-parenting model to transform anger, guilt, and shame, into healing strength. This model may also be used to parent a child.

NPD. 4 "“The Requirement To Work With The Soul Hurts You Have Received From The NPD; Strategies For NPD Experience." will provide basic information from the 2010 revision about the soul, what goes around comes around, how to deal with self hate, parenting exercises, the connection of the soul in personality disorders, an experiential comparison between NPD and Borderline Personality Disorder, and the remarkable nutrition program [Nourishing Traditions Cookbook] that helps Narcissists and Borderlines use their "kind public-outside-the-house-face with family relationships inside the house.  Then we will continue the discussion from 2006 on interactional strategies for the NPD experiences of jealousy, Cycle of Violence, possible physical abuse, intimacy, put-downs, protecting your joy and sorrow, and countering arrogance.
For more information on Nourishing Traditions visit, In Nourishing Traditions, especially note pps. 338-339 sidebars, and the stock chapter,for a starting plan of action.

NPD. 5 "More Strategies For NPD Experience Across The Life Span", furnished recognising and replacing false hope with True Hope, understanding the NPD manipulation of children to break the spouse's bond with the children, learning new ways to answer the narcissist, connecting misogyny and the NPD in the home and Church, and being prepared for health problems within the narcissist when they cannot control you.

NPD. 6 "3 -Prayers", consolidated the three experiential prayers and explanatory notes that were generated from the lecture series. They are the following: The Quick Prayer to give back the abuser's destructive cloud; The Parenting Prayer to use in caring for your own negative attitudes,emotions, and behaviors; The Personal Prayer that addressed the negative attitudes, emotions, and behaviors, as well as the demonic curses that accompanied them,in the persecuted person, the abuser, and in both of their family lines.
A special link for those who are in an abused relationship: For information concerning Peace and Safety in the Christian Home, visit

Additional Media Services:

***We are now able to make available the Original 3-hour Workshop from 2003, the predecessor of the NPD 1-6 Series. It contains the Three Prayers. It is typewritten on 8 1/2 x 11 paper, 31 pages.


[Identifying information has been removed to ensure the confidentiality of the writer.]

"Dr Alff's CD collection has taught me techniques to cope with people, guard my attitude and reactions, limit the effects of abuse and protect my joy. As I listen I learn strategies to grow stronger and heal a little more. I've grown closer to God, and pray more effectively by listening to them before I go to sleep at night. "

"For the first time in my life, I have the Fruits of the Spirit, especially patience, gentleness, kindness and self-control. I always strived to have those fruits, trying for years and now I have them--miraculously! Having the recordings at my fingertips and replaying them was like reaching into a treasure chest and pulling out handfuls of precious gems whenever I wanted. I need to hear things several times to learn. Dr. Alff teaches in a simple step-by-step, matter-of-fact manner how to remove a negative personality cloud, heal the childlike parts of yourself and pray in a productive way for healing."

"Dr. Alff has made it so simple: I do all of this while performing daily activities. I listen and practice while driving, cooking, cleaning... I even practice giving back negative personality clouds during potentially volatile conversations, allowing me to remain calm and to express my emotions and ideas."

“DR. Alff’s series on Narcissistic Personality Disorder offers resources available to help you manage the guilt, anger and hurt feelings experienced by those who deal with narcissistic spouses, bosses, children etc.  It helps you to regain balance and order by teaching you to identify others’ motives, how to set realistic boundaries, and cultivate self preservation so that God can restore the peace and love in your life.”

“Extremely informative and helpful.  I felt so alone knowing something was terribly wrong but not knowing what until I met Dr. Alff.  This workshop was amazing."

“The third lecture gave me hope that there might be a way to live with the NPD – it won’t be easy, but it can be done”

“NPD3 opened my eyes to the reality that when I will do anything to keep the narcissist quiet, this shifts my focus from my relationship with God the them—like a false idol!”

“I very much enjoyed the workshop and was amazed at the verbal truth being spoken regarding my situation.  I praise God to know He does love me and truly cares about my situation!”